Dowry system in India- Are we deaf to these voices of violence?

Stories of three victims of dowry system in India

In India and abroad different crimes are committed against women. We often tend to link crimes with the darkness of illiteracy. Lack of education leads to unemployment and social instability, which in turn pushes to the dark dungeon of the criminal world! But is it all? What do we call the literate goons around us then? The class with the privilege of education is not lagging behind from committing heinous crimes. Even today many families crave for a male child and treats male and female children differently. And what about the shameful act of dowry? Can you actually relate this to illiteracy?

When we were kids, we had moral science class. In that class we were given different lessons on humanity. We were taught to be righteous, honest, helpful and self reliant. Education is beyond bookish knowledge I feel, it is enlightenment. It is knowledge of your weaknesses and overcoming them. It is not merely a degree, which gets us employment. And it should not be a criterion of how much dowry you deserve. In our country, female foeticide is a common crime, because parents feel that the female child is a burden and to marry her away, they would drown in debts. In contrary, male child will bring back dowry home, which evidently is a beneficial deal. In many parts of India, parents commit suicide after marrying their daughters, unable to pay back their debt. What bothers me more is that, this shameful act is not only prevalent in the low socio-economic stratum; it is omnipresent on all strata. Infact the parts of India where literacy rate is highest, are victims of this crime to a huge extent. Now the question is why this age old practice is not getting eradicated atleast from the families which are supposedly open-minded? Frankly I have no answer.

There are many reasons why I love my state, its culture, literature, heritage etc. But one more thing which is appreciable in West Bengal is the absence of dowry system, atleast in most parts of the society. If not eradicated, it is minimised for sure, in literate families at least giving or taking of dowry is looked down upon. When my parents got married, my father requested my grandfather, not to give him anything in the form of dowry, not even a wrist watch. He said he is capable of buying one. That was his answer to the people who uninhibitedly give or take dowry and cleverly call it as gifts.

This evil system is not limited to giving dowry, if the in-laws remain unsatisfied with what ever they get, starts a period of torturing the young bride mentally and physically. Dowry deaths are extremely common in rural parts and most cases go unreported. Even in the urban areas, this crime is very much present. There are many laws against dowry and dowry related crimes. But again they are misused too.

I believe as the educated class, at least we should take a call. We should not encourage giving or taking dowry in marriages or later. A man and a woman deserve equal status. Parenting a female child let not become a burden. Let the men understand, that taking dowry actually demeans them, they are not saleable. They should look beyond the dazzle of gold and diamonds, and learn to respect their individuality. And a woman should appreciate that she is not just a responsibility and that she is responsible herself. Let us join hands to eradicate this derogatory crime from the society and build it for the better.

Aritra Chakrabarty Sengupta