Marriage - An institution based on mutual respect

“You know what? You will never understand me!" sobbed a pretty girl talking to her husband. "What matters to you is your family, their prejudice and norms. But I am not a puppet!"

"Really? Then what do you expect me to do? Hold your hand and walk out? Mummy is correct about modern girls...they are so self-centered." complained the furious husband.

"I never asked you to do that. I just want your family to accept me the way I am. A modern independent, working woman who dares to be opinionated. I am never going to ill treat them or disrespect them I just want them to respect my existence and not treat as a show piece." retaliated she.

Neil and Niki had married after 4 years of being in love, Neil was from a conservative Marwari family while Niki was an independent minded Punjabi girl who believed in her existence and was self-reliant. They knew of their difference, but Niki believed that she could bring positive change to Neil’s otherwise retarding take on the society and its norms. On the other hand Neil thought that marriage and settlement would change what appeared to be radical thinking to him. But nothing changed except their relationship, their love. I do not know what happened to them, whether they lived together and continued their journey with each other, or did they quit, I simply have no idea.

The reason why I suddenly thought of a situation like this, is a friend of mine. She has always amazed me, with her thoughts, her struggles and her wins. But a failed marriage is a huge burden to carry and our societal taboo, never allows us forget our past. In all dire situations, she succeeded, a school and college topper, a modern woman with modern thoughts. But she failed to establish a happy household because her partner suffered from bourgeoisie, he believed that a woman has no right to be opinionated and should concentrate on daily household chores. What happens around in the world should not be a concern to her more than what has to be prepared for lunch. Strange, we all live in the same society but nurture such diverse thoughts. While at one side women and men are equally traversing the path of progress and on the side women are behind the shadows and veils of illiteracy, inequality and violence. But my friend dared to be different, different from most of us and had decided to raise a voice. She left the retarding environment, took to legal separation and continued studies. But the question, which started bugging her soon was, what next?

In this society of hypocrisy, can she be alone forever? Or should she remarry? But then how? A divorced woman cannot expect more than a divorced man in our society when it comes to arrange marriage. And falling in love is scary to her now. What should be her next step? I want your precious suggestions.

 

Aritra Chakrabarty Sengupta